Jesus/Christianity: From a Once-Atheist

My whole life, I’ve always wanted to have fun. I’ve always wanted to be the kid that everyone liked; that had it all, that had it going on. I wanted to be the kid that had the hottest girlfriend, was the best gamer around, and was the best at sports and never lost at anything. I was competitive to. And I succeeded at most of those. I thought life was about ME.  Then high school came rolling along. My goals rose from having the hottest girlfriend to pulling off that one night stand and going as far as I could with that girl; and then boasting the next day to your friends about how much you violated that person, as if it’s something to be admired. It’s what I thought would satisfy me. You can’t really blame me/us either for feeling that way. We’re raised in a culture that elevates the WRONG and the FEW gifts in people. All over television, the computer, video games; everything has some pre-conceived message that is trying to get across to the viewer. And when you see it so often, it becomes normal, and then it becomes desire. Not to mention that the majority of young men are viewing pornography by age 12.

If you had asked me what my opinion was of Christianity and/or church at that time, I would have responded with: hypocritical, boring, no-point, dumb, who-cares, not my thing. So at this time, I didn’t go to church often (forced to go periodically) and I thought Jesus was hecka boring. I kept going my merry way and by the middle of sophomore year, I hit a peak. I was doing crazier things than anything I had done before; I was going places with girls that should be places reserved for marriage. I became extremely depressed for long periods of time, suicidal, lonely, and angry. I wondered what had happened…my whole childhood I was told that if I achieve this stuff-then will I only be happy. I achieved it-no long-term happiness? What was happening? I remember one night I was on the verge of killing myself. I was sitting alone by my bed in the dark. I turned to my Ipod and turned on some worship music just for the heck of it, in complete desperation, willing to try anything (that I have no idea how got on my Ipod). I suddenly felt an overwhelming sense of Fatherly love that quickly invaded my life. Lust…addictions…everything started to go away like it had never been there before. Never been the same since.

I got involved with Overlake Christian Church and started seeking God in a community. The best church I’ve ever been to in my entire life. Period. End of Story. Thousands of believers who are behind you, encouraging you, and loving on you, WITHOUT judgment. It’s come as you are. People are exposed, not wearing masks, and opening up to the life that Christ offers. When I think about why a lot of people don’t go to church, I don’t really blame them. Everyone thinks you stand up, wear a suit, and listen for 2 hours…super cliché. Try Overlake Christian Church, where people come as they are, where you never leave without being overwhelmingly encouraged and loved upon. And let’s be honest, most churches are just doing it wrong. If your church is boring and you’re not leaving with a very real sense of the reality of the Cross, leave that church. Find a church in your area that makes you want to spend your whole day there.

So what does a person whose seen both sides think of life with/without Jesus? I think life without Jesus is fun for a while, but in no way eternal. You just can’t find anything to satisfy you and you never will. The high from sin will wear off. When you seek the flesh, it’s only temporary satisfaction. (Romans 8) When you have Jesus, you develop this impenetrable heart because you know that He loves you, He redeems you, He cares for you, He encourages you, He’s there for you, and He has a plan for you. Before Christ, the world is about you and fulfilling your needs and achieving your satisfaction. After Christ, it’s about serving others and forgiving others, as He first forgave you. Everything will change. You won’t find it in a joint, a bottle, or a bed of sin. It’s in Christ. It’s in the Church. You. Need. Jesus.