Will you ever find "the one"?

We see and hear about it everywhere. We just don’t recognize it. It’s become ordinary for us. From being the focus of Disney movies to modern romantic films and completely dominating most forms of our culture’s entertainment, the search for the perfect spouse/boyfriend/girlfriend/mate has been manually infused in us. Society portrays this search for the perfect partner, often called “the one”, as something, if achieved, will bring perfect happiness and peace for the rest of your life. Remember the phrase: and they lived happily ever after? I’m sure you do. This unfulfilled longing of the human desire is just further evidence towards the gap that is left unfilled due to the absence of Jesus. The funny thing is, and this will probably be offensive to you, but I don’t think you’ll ever find the perfect partner or “the one”. I’m going to give you two main reasons why. And just as a bit of a disclaimer, my opinion isn't perfect. I don’t have decades of relationship experience. But I have seen many relationships fail. And I've watched closely to how culture portrays this phenomenon.  

The first reason I don’t ever think you’ll find the perfect one is because it doesn't make sense logically. Let’s take some woman, 1000 years ago for example. If she made a mistake and didn't marry the “one”, then it would be forever messed up. She would have married someone else’s “one”. And she would have left herself unavailable to be the “one” for some other guy. If one person messes the cycle up, then its messed up for everyone else for the rest of eternity. Do you see what I’m saying? If one person messes up the cycle and marries another person’s “one”, then other people after them would be marrying other people’s “one’s” and it would get all messed up.

The second reason I don’t ever think you’ll find the perfect one is because the perfect One already came. You’ll never find the man to solve all your problems. It’s because He already came 2000 years ago. His name is Jesus. He came to give you life, and life to fullest. Jesus will give you peace and solve your problems. If we idolize some guy or girl, we place an unfair burden of expectation on them to fill that only Jesus can fill. They will never be good enough and you’ll never be satisfied fully with them. If they had only done a bit better, or served a bit more, they would have been perfect-no-they’ll never be perfect. It puts way too much pressure on the other person. Usually the girl has this ideal of finding the perfect one….but if you count on this ideal that only Jesus can satisfy, and you put a burden on this guy that he cannot hold.  No matter how much he serves you or how good he treats you, you always want him to be a little bit higher. A little bit better. We are only humans-we’ll never be perfect. Only Jesus is perfect. So for guys and girls...in dating it’s less about finding the one, and preparing yourself to be the one. And honestly, it’s a lazy thing. We don’t want to change because all of their attributes fit well with ours. They work well with our schedule. If we want to see the fruit of a relationship, we need to work on letting Jesus get ahold of our hearts. And this will be hard because really, dating is more to make us holy, that it is happy...and to make us look more like Him.

So don’t deal with this pressure of maybe choosing the wrong “one”. Because if you do get in a relationship with that supposed “one”, and they mess up, you’ll be extremely hurt and maybe even a little depressed. It’s because you’re really a slave to this ideal-that they will constantly be perfect. So take your identity from Jesus and realize that Jesus wants to be in a relationship with you. Don’t be attached to the other person as your identity. I totally believe that if you’re in church community, you’re growing, not in any unrepentant sin, have a group of mentors, and walking with Jesus, you have freedom to just pick. The worst part of this whole false ideal is that because your standard is so high, you miss good Godly people already in your life that could end up being a good partner on the mission God has called you to. So remember…dating isn't so much about finding the “right one”, but treating that person with love and grace. 

Money and Missions: Why both ideas are broken

        Let's dive right in...and giving sort of the background behind where I'm going to go. The fact of the matter is a lot of people are attaching a spiritual value to poverty. Righteousness does not equal poverty. There are four types of economic class systems in the Bible. There are the righteous rich (who steward their money well), the unrighteous rich (who don't steward their money well), and then there are the righteous poor (who steward well), and the unrighteous rich (who don't steward well). 1 Timothy 6 tells us that God has given us all things to richly enjoy. I think we are in a strong need of a more definitive definition of joy in the church today. Many people say "Oh, take joy in God...bla bla bla"....James MacDonald describes how we need to extend our definition of joy and include in it enjoying the things God HAS MADE. The Psalms are filled with joy of what God has made (Psalm 62). It's not wrong to have, it's wrong when things have you. "Now it is true, the solution to materialism is not poverty, but generosity." And I don't think we realize how much things have our hearts. Poverty is NOT SPIRITUAL. It's not that more doesn't equal and a problem and less doesn't equal a problem. God is not lacking in His resources. Pastors should be blessed. We shouldn't keep with this keep the pastors humble crap. Do you want pastors raising their kids and them hating God because they grew up extremely poor in the name of "spirituality". What a joke. Give money to the pastor. Let him be generous. If you can't trust the leader, cut the leader not the money!

       Now to missions...we don't need to just send more money to poor people around the world, we'll ruin them! There are thousands of people groups who haven't heard the Gospel, it's what's our responsibility financially to get the Gospel to people who don't have it. Honestly, sometimes the extreme amount of money we send to missions is such a waste. The idea that you just have to give money...the whole model is broken. Missions is broken.   "The way missions take place and what goes on and how they measure success, there's been enough money given to missionaries every decade for the last hundred years to get the Gospel to every corner of the earth, so why do we have to keep hearing numbers like thousands of people groups haven't heard the Gospel."-James MacDonald Someone is screwing up, big time. Cause we have sent enough money for this issue to resolve itself about a thousand times over. There is so much wastage in missions. But I will say this, it is worth major sacrifice to fix missions and make it work. 

Christians and Video Games

       Christians and video games. Not a huge doctrinal issue, but more of a minor one that is hotly debated between the younger Christian community. We're going to examine this concept of "Should Christians be able to play video games?" in the following paragraphs. Before we dive into this, let me give you some context of my history with video games. I've been raised in a video game culture. My generation is probably more obsessed with video games than any other previous generation, and for good reason! We have stronger access to technology more than ever now! We have many consoles for many different experiences of gaming! And my whole life, I've been allowed to play video games. My parents really haven't objected to the blood or the shooting content in games. They've only had a problem with sexually mature content, which I don't disagree with them on. So let's dive in.

        Obviously, due to its completion nearly 2000 years ago, the Bible does not directly speak on the topic of video games. However, God's voice clearly echoes through Scripture, leaving us with verses and context that give us the ability to easily apply to it our current lifestyle. So here goes my opinion. To say “Christians should not play video games” is to COMPLETELY reject, disregard, and underestimate the vision that God has for the gaming community. The gaming community is composed of literally millions of unreached people for Christ. How can we miss this opportunity? We have the ability to develop online relationships with people across the world. If Christians took advantage of this (which a lot already are), we would have the ability to build relationships with people over games and even introduce them to online churches (elevationnetwork, etc.). There are already dozens of sites established where Christian gamers are coming together and recognizing each other. Just search up “Gamers for Christ” on Google, you’ll be surprised by what you see. Now there is a line. And it’s a very fine line.

          Video games can be used greatly to further the Kingdom of God, and they can also become idols. When a person starts obsessing over a video game, they start to idolize it, and it replaces where the individual looks to for his source of “love”. (Colossians 3:5) When it comes to content, I draw the line between violence and games with a strong sexual nature. Violence, I have no problem with, doesn’t affect me (more a matter of personal discretion). Strong sexual natured games = not for me. I can’t do it. I would never want to allow myself to stumble due to some sexually glorified image of a woman in a video game. I got to stay away from that. So I lose the ability to Glorify God when I play those sexually-hyped video games, because my focus on Christ is lost and transitions to a focus on lust (1 Corinthians 10:31).

          Some will be called to minister the Gospel through online relationships through video games and some won’t. Passionately and obediently follow God’s call on your life. So yes, video games can be used to glorify God. But they can also become an idol. Don’t let them become an idol. Focus on Christ. You can’t serve two masters. Don’t try. Don’t discount God’s vision for the gaming community.

Why The Jesus High Go Bye-Bye?

        So many of us have a friend or a person we have witnessed in our life experience a radical change through Jesus. They were broken before and suddenly they try this whole Jesus thing-and they're not even the same person-the change is that radical. They are experiencing Jesus for the very first time and by just being around them-you can tell that the Holy Spirit is working through them and they have caught some crazy fire (1 Corinthians 5:17). They have caught the spirit (the sickness), and Jesus is living inside of them, and they are clearly showing the symptoms of it (Ex's: strong differences in behavior/language/interaction). Most of us have experienced this high off the Holy Spirit and often wonder where and why it went so quickly.

       After a few months of being a new radical believer and seeing some awesome change, most Christians claim that the high is gone and wonder where it went. This is what happens. Soon we settle down as believers, we get caught up in the busyness of life and get distracted by other things, and start pursuing other stuff to take the place of Jesus, without even knowing it. The equation has now become Jesus + Something = Joy/Everything. From what it used to be (Jesus + Nothing = Joy/Everything) We think that if we can just continue with this one sin, we'll still seek Jesus and everything will be fine. The truth is, sin and the desire to sin grows, especially faster when you encourage it. When are you going to realize that sinning is only worsening the situation. When are you going to decide to stop going back to this sin? When are you going to start putting your full faith in Jesus and trusting Him for your healing? It's time. Today's the day. People lose the symptoms (this high) because we aren't solely seeking Jesus as our source. This is why we get the high at church camps. We are placed in a confined area while sort of being strongly encouraged to worship Jesus and experience Him without any distractions from everyday life. If you don't have the symptoms, do you really have the sickness?

        Without a doubt, I have learned that Jesus + Nothing = Everything. The Holy Spirit high can continue, but only if you solely seek Jesus. The effects of Jesus-alone-seeking life are revolutionary; He has the power to save people by the thousands. We need the Christians that still believe if you walk by somebody with your shadow on them, then they'll be saved. If you don't have the symptoms, do you really sickness?

Jesus/Christianity: From a Once-Atheist

My whole life, I’ve always wanted to have fun. I’ve always wanted to be the kid that everyone liked; that had it all, that had it going on. I wanted to be the kid that had the hottest girlfriend, was the best gamer around, and was the best at sports and never lost at anything. I was competitive to. And I succeeded at most of those. I thought life was about ME.  Then high school came rolling along. My goals rose from having the hottest girlfriend to pulling off that one night stand and going as far as I could with that girl; and then boasting the next day to your friends about how much you violated that person, as if it’s something to be admired. It’s what I thought would satisfy me. You can’t really blame me/us either for feeling that way. We’re raised in a culture that elevates the WRONG and the FEW gifts in people. All over television, the computer, video games; everything has some pre-conceived message that is trying to get across to the viewer. And when you see it so often, it becomes normal, and then it becomes desire. Not to mention that the majority of young men are viewing pornography by age 12.

If you had asked me what my opinion was of Christianity and/or church at that time, I would have responded with: hypocritical, boring, no-point, dumb, who-cares, not my thing. So at this time, I didn’t go to church often (forced to go periodically) and I thought Jesus was hecka boring. I kept going my merry way and by the middle of sophomore year, I hit a peak. I was doing crazier things than anything I had done before; I was going places with girls that should be places reserved for marriage. I became extremely depressed for long periods of time, suicidal, lonely, and angry. I wondered what had happened…my whole childhood I was told that if I achieve this stuff-then will I only be happy. I achieved it-no long-term happiness? What was happening? I remember one night I was on the verge of killing myself. I was sitting alone by my bed in the dark. I turned to my Ipod and turned on some worship music just for the heck of it, in complete desperation, willing to try anything (that I have no idea how got on my Ipod). I suddenly felt an overwhelming sense of Fatherly love that quickly invaded my life. Lust…addictions…everything started to go away like it had never been there before. Never been the same since.

I got involved with Overlake Christian Church and started seeking God in a community. The best church I’ve ever been to in my entire life. Period. End of Story. Thousands of believers who are behind you, encouraging you, and loving on you, WITHOUT judgment. It’s come as you are. People are exposed, not wearing masks, and opening up to the life that Christ offers. When I think about why a lot of people don’t go to church, I don’t really blame them. Everyone thinks you stand up, wear a suit, and listen for 2 hours…super cliché. Try Overlake Christian Church, where people come as they are, where you never leave without being overwhelmingly encouraged and loved upon. And let’s be honest, most churches are just doing it wrong. If your church is boring and you’re not leaving with a very real sense of the reality of the Cross, leave that church. Find a church in your area that makes you want to spend your whole day there.

So what does a person whose seen both sides think of life with/without Jesus? I think life without Jesus is fun for a while, but in no way eternal. You just can’t find anything to satisfy you and you never will. The high from sin will wear off. When you seek the flesh, it’s only temporary satisfaction. (Romans 8) When you have Jesus, you develop this impenetrable heart because you know that He loves you, He redeems you, He cares for you, He encourages you, He’s there for you, and He has a plan for you. Before Christ, the world is about you and fulfilling your needs and achieving your satisfaction. After Christ, it’s about serving others and forgiving others, as He first forgave you. Everything will change. You won’t find it in a joint, a bottle, or a bed of sin. It’s in Christ. It’s in the Church. You. Need. Jesus.